Oh Lord – Please don’t let me be misunderstood!

Man at the computer

Have you ever been in a situation where you said something or did something and it triggererd an unexpected reaction in someone else?  In other words, the other person gave your words or actions a meaning you’d not intended.

It happens to all of us and it’s upsetting and confusing to say the least!

Here are some scenarios that might seem familiar:

  • You think you’re giving a colleague the benefit of your experience, and when you tell them ‘straight’, they accuse you of being harsh and insensitive…
  • You try to cheer up a colleague who has made a mistake by cracking a joke – and they attack you for being flippant and uncaring….
  • You try to caution a colleague from making a risky decision only to have them accuse you of attempting to hold them back….
  • You keep reminding a colleague that a deadline is looming, thinking you’re being helpful – and they accuse you of nagging!

We all have our ‘blind spots’!

What seems helpful and reasonable from our perspective may be received very differently by others. 

This is where your DiSC decoder can be SO useful!

Let’s explore misunderstandings from the viewpoint of each DiSC style… 

Our next DiSC Certification training is happening soon. Find out how you can extend your reach as a trainer using Everything DiSC®

If your preferred style is ‘D’ standing for Dominance 

Be aware that your direct, results-oriented communication style may lead others to think you’re uncaring and insensitive. You know that you just want to make decisions, get things done and move on but their reaction may actually get in the way of you achieving what you want.

To avoid misunderstandings:

Choose your words more carefully. Seek their opinion rather than simply giving yours. Attempt to understand where they are coming from even if at first, you don’t agree with them.

If your preferred style is ‘i’ standing for Influence 

Be aware that your enthusiastic, high energy manner can lead some people to feel manipulated by you. Also, you like to talk. Others can  see this as time wasting and experience you as having little or no substance.

To avoid misunderstandings:

Know when to reign in your high spirits to ensure you’re taken seriously. Be willing to discuss the finer details and to look at what could go wrong in a project. Some people will find you a lot more credible when you do.

If your preferred style is ‘S’ standing for Steadiness 

Be aware that your quiet, steady manner and your desire for everyone to get along might lead some people to take you for granted.

To avoid misunderstandings: 

Know when to say ‘no’. There will be times when you need to stand up for yourself and for what you believe in and some people will respect you more for it.

If your preferred style is ‘C’ standing for Conscientiousness 

Be aware that your high standards and desire to get things right can lead some people to find you cold and intimidating. Your need to check other people’s work can come across as picky, negative and judgemental.

To avoid misunderstandings:

Remember the importance of connection and building positive working relationships with colleagues. Sometimes this will mean you ‘lightening up’ a bit to show that people matter as well as the task in hand.

Enjoy adjusting and tweaking your communications to avoid misunderstandings and let me know how you get on! 

Want to find out how you can become trained in DiSC? Check out our upcoming DiSC Certification training

For more information, please call me (Julie French) or email me.